"it" just moved
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
