he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
