Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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