This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
