Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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