just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize