i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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