Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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