apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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