wat bout pragnant strippers??
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
