playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
