I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's never too late to be topless.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
