Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
