yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
