Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
