so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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