I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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