I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
