i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
