how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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