she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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