i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
