I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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