she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
