these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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