Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
