I got chris browned last night
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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