i was rollin on her like bob the builder
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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