soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
