CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
