I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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