i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
