Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
