when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
