One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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