Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
