I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize