weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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