New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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