im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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