My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize