yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
