I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
