i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if only i could text you this smell
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
