Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
