Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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