my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
