I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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