This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
