The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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