is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
