Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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