Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
