I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm determined to sit on that face.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
