So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
