I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I want her autograph on my taint
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
