Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
