I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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