I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
