Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
