I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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