"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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