didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
