I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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