Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
