it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
