I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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